It seems I've stumbled upon a forum...

I am Silenus, son of Pan, tutor of Dionysus - I ride an ass because I am too drunk to walk. But I am only just drunk enough to write, and on that note I begin, the note of intoxication. Unfortunately, my present situation is such that only liquor will intoxicate me (although in this present state any intoxicant is a weapon to be wielded against vulgarity, liberal values, and general American mediocrity).

Ass as my steed, bottle in one hand and pen in the other, I approach the gilded gates of American culture a rebel, an insurgent, an enemy combatant, General Sherman burning one book club at a time, all with a riotous, uproarious euphoria. For two thousand years I've stumbled drunkenly in and out of human affairs. No longer will I tolerate such ephemeral relevance, ephemeral wretches! I am a meandering, directionless demigod of decadence, a termite laying feast to the Constitution.

My goal: my rightful place in the American Pantheon, a celebration of Dionysus from sea to shining sea, an emergence of an American paganism!